Comments on Not Just Hiding: On death, taxes and impressionable young children

They say that a problem shared is a problem halved...

2007-12-05T23:55:00.000Z

They say that a problem shared is a problem halved - which is so true. But I say that a thought/ emotion/ memory written on paper is like walking into a brick wall, doesn't really roll of the tongue as well :), but I find it the best way to face it and see it with warts and all.

I really feel for you, it must have been a scary way to grow up with your own interpretations.

Its such a shame that these things were not discussed with you to give you a better understanding, though as a child it probably still would have been scary living in that environment.

I am glad that you wrote it all out and get a chance to challenge what you can.

It reminded me of my own fear of death for years until I worked in Aged Palliative Care. For me it took away the fear of death and made it a lovely part of our life cycle, after sitting with some great people while they died and to see their pain gone and were finally at peace.

Beliefs are the strangest things, how the same environment gave us totally different views, though the different ages definately plays a part.

Ruby

This is how it happened with me. I was always slig...

2007-12-03T03:08:00.000Z

This is how it happened with me. I was always slightly preoccupied with death... but when my own mother died (I was an adult, not an impressionable child), it really became a constant thought, on my mind every day. Gradually, I even started accepting that I would think about and dread it all the time. I was afraid of so many things that were potential killing situations -- planes, etc.

The fear of dying went away only when I found a way of bringing joy into my life. When I realized I could make myself happy (doesn't mean I always do so... I'm weak and lazy at times), then it didn't matter so much that it would end some day, because I can choose to live my life fully right now.

Sorry if that sounded glib. Just how it worked with me.

The telling can be the unravelling. It won't make ...

2007-12-03T00:04:00.000Z

The telling can be the unravelling. It won't make sense or lead to moments of epiphany necessarily, but the telling is the 'getting it out' where it can be looked at perhaps in more detail, or perhaps not, depending how you feel. But certainly, strange environments, atmospheres, events we experience as children stay with us. And so your fears, which are your adaptations to coping in a way, are understandable. I hope this post has helped you get some of your past out there.

That does make a lot of sense. For some reason, th...

2007-12-01T00:42:00.000Z

That does make a lot of sense. For some reason, this reminded me of a Depeche Mode song, heh.